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Monday, February 21st, 2005
12:14 pm

Crimson drops stain my breath
And splatter against your cheek
Death without rejection, Sight without sound
compulsion beats against the back of my eyes
nothing to steady my hand
Why has this happened,what could i do
Unheard screams fight for my breath
i weep for them as i choke on their stillborn lives.
I taste death and wish it was my own
I do want to die,
Do You?

Why is this happening, what can i do
they tear from inside, Rip through my flesh
look through my eyes and bleed though my lips
they are stronger then me i know it
How do i leash them, why are they shackled
institutionalized within my own heart
afraid of the light yet done with the dark
they attempt to live but are killed through doubt

so i eat myself again

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Sunday, September 12th, 2004
11:14 pm - stream of consciousness?

in 17 days...
i may say the Kaddish
or stab my knife into the beast called Memory
that's been stalking me for a year
or two

i doubt the result will be anything happy
i've waited too long to still have enough innocence&hope
for that

the night before Night began
was full of psychic dread
and haunting dreams
and other unforgetful things

i don't want to miss you
i want you to hear me

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Friday, September 10th, 2004
11:14 pm

Discplaced Argument

what are these hateful words that came from my mouth
that made you screem that made you pout
i payed my respects i said my apologies
so still why arent you talking to me
what havent i done to begg your forgiveness
should i just give away or give you my happiness
i know what i said was hurtfull and it may take a while to repair
but you must admit we say wrong things and love and war just arent fair
so please just take your own advice
or else say its our friendship your willing to sacrifice
tell me now and tell me true tell me should i be there for you
so just listen to me and my apology
just listen to me im sorry

Over You I Found Somone New

when we left eachother i told myself you were like no other
i said i would never meet someone as nice as you
until i met him and he is true
he is genuwine and sweet he gives me rides and talks to me sorry but you cant
compete. and in his eyes i stare i cant help but smile i cant help but care
he is there when im feeling down he comforts me and tells me dont frown
he offers me rides home when it rains he can see when im in pain
im so happy now that i found you. it makes me think back. him who

What Is It You See

look in the mirror what do you see
just a girl with many broken memories
somone who doesnt know what to say or do
who just knows that shes falling in love with you
your smile, your touch, your eyes, and your look
it sorta seems like you came out of a fairytale book
so she writes dear my prince charming when you talk to  me
when you look at me what is it you hear what is it you see
is it just a childish girl whos lost in this crazy world
is it some bratty teen whos immature and only fourteen
i just wish you could have seen the better side of me
i just wish... you could see the real me

current mood: i dont know..

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Saturday, August 28th, 2004
4:26 pm - cynical

And still, despite her comfort, she still felt as though she were alone...

And yet, despite her fears and her misgivings she knew that she could sit for an enternity, never seeing a single soul, and still




current mood: anxious

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3:49 pm - it's been hiding in my head all along

The lunatic is on the grass.
The lunatic is on the grass.
Remembering games and daisy chains and laughs.
Got to keep the loonies on the path.

The lunatic is in the hall.
The lunatics are in my hall.
The paper holds their folded faces to the floor
And every day the paper boy brings more.

And if the dam breaks open many years too soon
And if there is no room upon the hill
And if your head explodes with dark forebodings too
I'll see you on the dark side of the moon.

The lunatic is in my head.
The lunatic is in my head
You raise the blade, you make the change
You re-arrange me 'til I'm sane.
You lock the door
And throw away the key
There's someone in my head but it's not me.

And if the cloud bursts, thunder in your ear
You shout and no one seems to hear.
And if the band you're in starts playing different tunes
I'll see you on the dark side of the moon.

"I can't think of anything to say except...
I think it's marvelous! HaHaHa!"

current mood: awake

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